High priestess on my altar. Tarot card by Kim Krans, The Wild Unknown Tarot. Photo by author.
The High Priestess Comes to Me as a Tiger
Last night I dreamt that I was bathing my baby in a pool of water. A tiger appeared out of the darkness and stepped into the water. She walked slowly, deliberately. Her eyes were on me.
She came right up to me and brushed up against my body. She leaned into me. I could feel her rib cage against my back. My breath caught as I felt the enormity of her being. Muscles of solid mass. Fierceness. Strength of a magnitude beyond anything I’d known. In an instant—less than an instant—she could decide whether my baby and I lived or died. I loved this tiger even as I feared her.
My body trembled, and I was more awake than I’d ever been. I looked at my baby, continuing to bathe her. Each drop of water mattered. Each stroke of her head.
"Here we are together," I told her. “Right now.”
I felt the kind of joy that makes hearts weep.
"One day the tiger will eat us," I said.
At that, the tiger pulled away and walked out of the pool.
Water dripped from her body. I don’t remember if she turned around to look back at me. All I could feel was that place on my back where she’d leaned into me. She’d imprinted herself onto me.
When I close my eyes, I can still remember her warmth.
I want you to claim your joy now, she said.
This is not the time for waiting.